28 August 2011
Is there really a God?
I'm glad I was forced to face this question earlier than others. Some people can afford to shrug the question off and live merrily with success, sex, drugs and alcohol. If I did that, with my illness, I'd make myself much sicker, making things worse and my life much much shorter. I decided to struggle with this question because it will determine what I am to do with my life. And I knew this question had to have an answer. There either is or isn't a God, it can't be both, just as I can't be both sleeping and awake at the same time. God is either real or not.
I figured, if there was no God, then it would be far better for me to die. It would be the escape from my suffering and a burden lifted for those who took care of me. And all sick and poor people like me should just be killed at birth because there is no point in living and striving and hoping if at the end of our lives we would all just disintegrate. It sounds emo, but it's true, isn't it?
But honestly, I still didn't want to believe in God. I was sick and I wasn't getting any better. If He was real, why won't he heal me. And if He was real, I would need to follow and obey Him. I didn't want to read the Bible anymore. I hated reading, period. I didn't want to go to church and sing songs that wasn't ringing true in my heart. I didn't feel loved by God, I wasn't experiencing this life altering thing other Christians were experiencing. I was tired of praying and believing when my only reason to believe was to have a reason to live.
But God did give me reasons and proof of His existence. Little by little, He revealed His truth. I found out that it was possible to be a Christian and have intellectual and logical reasons for believing. I found books that showed how science and history confirms the reliability of the Bible. I was given the chance to listen to speakers who have studied theology and who's reasoning and logic made much sense to me. What I could grasp and understand so far was just the tip of the tip of the ice berg of God's wisdom, knowledge, and understanding and it was already marvelous and amazing! And most importantly, God opened my eyes to see Him in how life works out. I've always known that Jesus died for my sins, but for the first time I was realizing what it really meant, what grace meant for me personally. Even in the beauty of the sunset and how people are connected, I couldn't deny the reality of God. God had revealed himself, I didn't have to be confused and lost. I was no longer hopeless and groping in the dark.
It would take me forever to enumerate the reasons and proofs of why I believe that God is very real and alive. But I can say that I know both in my heart and in my mind that God is real. It is not wishful thinking nor false hope just so I could make life on earth meaningful and less miserable. Because the life of a Christian is not easier nor is it storm free. And actually, when I became a Christian, I had all the more reason to want to die and see God face to face. No, my choice is not a poor excuse to stay alive, as some of the intellectuals would say.
God is real. You can choose to not believe it, you can choose not to think about it. But the fact remains. God is real. And if you haven't really took the time to think and read about it, then I plead with you, stop procrastinating. Ask, think and decide. Lest you waste your life and continue to drift to the end of it.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
0 comments:
Post a Comment
want to be notified of replies? click on the "subscribe by email" at the bottom of this comment box thanks! :D you're awesome!