jodibess

Look Who's Back

2012-01-20T03:08:00.000-08:00

So I apparently suck at maintaining a blog. I wasn't even able to post a Merry Christmas and Happy New year blog. It's just that I either get lazy to organize my thoughts and piece them together or I get discouraged because every time I start to type down something, my brain freezes. It just goes blank. What up brain?

But i don't want to give up entirely on blogging. Sayang naman tong blog ko. Kahit papano nag-effort naman ako sa design and sayang din yung previous posts ko. And I really do think blogging has it's positive effects. It helps clear my mind sometimes. It helps me practice proper grammar. And it can be therapeutic. That's why John Watson's therapist insisted he blogged. Haha! I had to put that in. I'm sort of addicted to Sherlock Holmes series right now. Season 3 I need youuuu!

Anyway, so here I am, back to blogging, (thanks to Sherlock Holmes. Haha!), with honestly nothing much to say. Hehe. I really don't have much to say except that I will try to blog at least once a month, hopefully more. For my good, I must do it. I wish I had a very interesting Sherlock Holmes as a friend so I could have something to blog about, but since I don't, I'm sure I'll manage to find something. Like how I've been craving for banana-q and I've realized that I haven/t seen a commercialized version of it yet.

And to end this madness, I shall leave you with a drawing I'm so happy I was able to, well, draw. :)

What else were you expecting? A banana-q?

Singles Getaway 2011

2011-10-31T00:30:00.000-07:00

The truth is I didn't really want to join the Singles' Getaway. For one thing, I don't have the best experiences when it comes to out of town trips and retreats. The last retreat I went to, I ended up going home in an ambulance. And I'm not really a people person, I don't do well in crowds. But at the bottom of it all, I knew I also had an issue with "singleness". Not that I want to get married now na, it's more of I don't understand what that season of singleness meant and I felt like my situation is different (with my illness and all, it's a long story), I just felt like baka ma-out of place lang ako.

But I knew God wanted me to go. And the fact that I had an issue with "singleness" made me realize that it's all the more reason I should go. Besides, I was encouraging my small group to go, tapos ako hindi pupunta? And I was too much of an anti-social already, I knew I really needed to go. So off I went.

Was I glad I went. I didn't think I would enjoy it as much as I did. I was hoping I would enjoy, and I was praying that God would meet me there. And He did. In fact, He did more than just meet me there. He was at every single session, at every single activity, with every single person, speaking through everyone I had a chat with. God was at the center and He was so involved, and it made all the difference.

I am just so grateful that I stuck with the decision to go. Every minute I was there, I just kept thanking God for bringing me there and keeping me healthy. Even though I wasn't room mates or team mates with people I knew, I still had a great time. I was even privileged to be part of the winning team (yay Foursquare). Akala ko I'd never be part of the winning team.. but by the grace of God! Hahahaha! There were so many new faces and we were all almost strangers to each other but we went back to manila as friends, as a community. The friendships I already had grew deeper and new ones were formed. I can't wait for our Christmas Party :D

I went there a little bit nervous, kind of excited, and hoping for the best. I went home even more excited, spiritually renewed, and free to live dangerously. :)

Happy :)

2011-10-22T20:37:00.000-07:00

The past few days have been really good. After my hospitalization last September, things really kind of brightened up. Despite the unexplainable allergic reaction last week (hopefully it will be explained tomorrow, or forever remain a mystery) I've really been, well, happy.

God is really just so good, and He's been showing so much of His goodness lately. By "showing much of His goodness" I don't mean He's changed my situation or suddenly gave me everything I want and need. From the outside, it doesn't really look like anything has changed. I still look the same, I still live in the same house, my finances and health are all the same. It's more like God changing the way I view my situation and the people around me. It's like what Romans 12:2 says, "... be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is-- his good, pleasing, and perfect will."

I'm currently looking forward to the last two and a half months of 2011. And I'm excited to see what awaits me in 2012.

Darkness

2011-10-17T07:16:00.001-07:00

can sometimes be daunting. But then I realized, it's only during the night when we can truly appreciate the brightness of the stars that surround our little world, stars that we never even realize are there during the bright sunny days.

I am Maru Calendar!!

2011-09-19T03:05:00.000-07:00

I waaannttt!! :3 If you want to know more about Maru, click here. :)

Limang Buwan ng Pasko

2011-09-02T07:40:00.000-07:00

Kumukutikutitap!

Sabi nila, sa Pilipinas daw pinaka-mahaba ang Pasko. Kung sa Amerika ay may 12 Days of Christmas, dito sa Pilipinas ay may Limang Buwan ng Pasko o Five Months of Christmas. Pag-sapit ng mga tinatawag na "Ber Months", masisimulan mo nang madinig ang mga awiting pang Pasko at umaabot ang pagdiriwang nito hang Enero (January). Kahapon, unang araw ng unang "Ber Month", narinig ko ang unang awiting Pasko ko sa taong ito, at iyon ay walang iba kundi ang "Christmas in Our Hearts" na isinulat ni Jose Mari Chan at Rina Cañiza. Ito ang isa sa pinaka-popular na awiting pang Pasko dito sa Pilipinas. Karaniwan din itong maririnig na kinakanta ng mga namamaskong bata.

Palagay ko bawat Pilipino alam ang kantang ito. 1990's pa ito unang ni-release pero hanggang ngayon, kilala pa din ang kantang ito. Kung sakaling hindi mo alam ang lyrics nito, ito na:

Whenever I see girls and boys
Selling lanterns on the street
I remember the child in the manger as he sleeps
Wherever there are people
Giving gifts exchanging cards
I believe that Christmas is truly in our hearts
Let's light our Christmas trees for a bright tomorrow
Where nations are at peace,
And all are one in God

[Chorus:]
Let's sing Merry Christmas and a happy holiday
This season may we never forget the love we have for Jesus
Let him be the one to guide us as another new year starts
And may the spirit of Christmas be always in our hearts

In every prayer and every song
The community unite celebrating the birth of our savior Jesus Christ
Let love like that starlight on that first Christmas morn
Lead us back to the manger where Christ the child was born
So come let us rejoice
Come and sing the Christmas carol with one big joyful voice
Proclaim the name of the Lord

Iba talaga ang saya na naidudulot ng Pasko. Hindi mo maipagkakaila na ito ang pinaka sikat na holiday sa buong mundo. Madami nang naihalo dito, naidagdag at naibawas, pero ang tunay na kahulugan nito ay mananatiling buhay sa puso ng marami hanggang sa mga susunod pang henerasyon. Nagpapasalamat ako sa Diyos na nagkaroon ng Pasko, di bale na kung totoong December 25 nga ba ito o hindi. Ang importante ay may pagkakataon tayo bilang isa Bansa, bilang isang mundo, para ipagdiwang ang isa sa pinaka importanteng pangyayari sa kasaysayan ng mundo. At gaya ng nasasaad sa kanta, sana'y maranasan natin at huwag natin kalimutan ang pag-ibig ni Jesus sa buhay ng bawat isa sa atin. :)

Maligayang Limang Buwan ng Pasko mga kapwa ko.

Jedi Kittens

2011-08-31T07:35:00.000-07:00

So that's what kittens do when no one's around... :3

Rainy Days

2011-08-28T22:31:00.000-07:00

It may have been dark and gloomy outside, but I'm bright and sunny inside. ϋ

Is there really a God?

2011-08-28T08:35:00.000-07:00

Dealing with this question is not easy. It's both burdening and worrisome. It would be easier to set the question aside and simply live merrily. But the fact is, we will all have to deal with this question at some point in our life.

I'm glad I was forced to face this question earlier than others. Some people can afford to shrug the question off and live merrily with success, sex, drugs and alcohol. If I did that, with my illness, I'd make myself much sicker, making things worse and my life much much shorter. I decided to struggle with this question because it will determine what I am to do with my life. And I knew this question had to have an answer. There either is or isn't a God, it can't be both, just as I can't be both sleeping and awake at the same time. God is either real or not.

I figured, if there was no God, then it would be far better for me to die. It would be the escape from my suffering and a burden lifted for those who took care of me. And all sick and poor people like me should just be killed at birth because there is no point in living and striving and hoping if at the end of our lives we would all just disintegrate. It sounds emo, but it's true, isn't it?

But honestly, I still didn't want to believe in God. I was sick and I wasn't getting any better. If He was real, why won't he heal me. And if He was real, I would need to follow and obey Him. I didn't want to read the Bible anymore. I hated reading, period. I didn't want to go to church and sing songs that wasn't ringing true in my heart. I didn't feel loved by God, I wasn't experiencing this life altering thing other Christians were experiencing. I was tired of praying and believing when my only reason to believe was to have a reason to live.

But God did give me reasons and proof of His existence. Little by little, He revealed His truth. I found out that it was possible to be a Christian and have intellectual and logical reasons for believing. I found books that showed how science and history confirms the reliability of the Bible. I was given the chance to listen to speakers who have studied theology and who's reasoning and logic made much sense to me. What I could grasp and understand so far was just the tip of the tip of the ice berg of God's wisdom, knowledge, and understanding and it was already marvelous and amazing! And most importantly, God opened my eyes to see Him in how life works out. I've always known that Jesus died for my sins, but for the first time I was realizing what it really meant, what grace meant for me personally. Even in the beauty of the sunset and how people are connected, I couldn't deny the reality of God. God had revealed himself, I didn't have to be confused and lost. I was no longer hopeless and groping in the dark.

It would take me forever to enumerate the reasons and proofs of why I believe that God is very real and alive. But I can say that I know both in my heart and in my mind that God is real. It is not wishful thinking nor false hope just so I could make life on earth meaningful and less miserable. Because the life of a Christian is not easier nor is it storm free. And actually, when I became a Christian, I had all the more reason to want to die and see God face to face. No, my choice is not a poor excuse to stay alive, as some of the intellectuals would say.

God is real. You can choose to not believe it, you can choose not to think about it. But the fact remains. God is real. And if you haven't really took the time to think and read about it, then I plead with you, stop procrastinating. Ask, think and decide. Lest you waste your life and continue to drift to the end of it.

Naiinis ako pero wala akong magawa kundi mag-blog tungkol dito

2011-08-26T02:22:00.000-07:00

(Note: There's an English translation at the end of this blog.)

Naging malaking bagay pala ang sinulat na article ni Soriano tungkol sa wikang Filipino. Ngayon, nakikita ko ang status at tweet ng mga tao patungkol dito. Access denied na siya ngayon sa Manila Bulletin pero nabasa ko siya dito, sa blog ng isang kaibigan noong highschool. Sa totoo lang hindi ako na-offend. Hindi ko alam kung sinong na-offend at kung bakit sila na-offend. Hindi ako na-offend, pero uminit ang ulo ko. At iniisip ko siya ulit, umiinit nanaman ang ulo ko.

Aaminin ko, hindi na din ako masyadong sanay magsalita o magsulat sa wikang Filipino nang walang halong Ingles. Pero mas kumportable pa din ako gamitin ito sa pang-araw araw na buhay kaysa sa Ingles. Lumaki ako sa paaralan at tirahan na Filipino ang wikang ginagamit. Sa paaralan namin, mas sanay kami sa wikang Filipino. Subukan mong magi-ingles diyan at tingnan natin kung hindi ka pagtatawanan. Kaya nga iritado kami sa mga konyo mula sa mga pribadong paaralan. Nagbago ang lahat ng lumawak ang mundo ko. At totoo nga, madami palang mga tao na mas sanay sa Ingles kaysa sa Filipino.

Naiinis ako na ganito ang sitwasyon ng bayan natin. Naiinis ako na kung sino pa ang mga may pinag-aralan, sila pa ang hindi sanay sa wika ng kanilang bayan. Naiinis ako na sa Filipino subject lang ginagamit ang wikang Filipino. Naiinis ako na pinaka ayaw na subject ng mga studyante ang Filipino. Naiinis ako na napaka-bilis natin husgahan ang mga taong baluktot mag-ingles pero wala tayong nakikitang problema sa mga taong lumaki sa Pilipinas pero baluktot na mag-Filipino may "twang" pa!

Naiintindihan ko din na kontrobersyal ang isyu ng pambansang wika dahil nga naman masyado itong maka-Tagalog, paano na lang ang mga Bisaya at ang iba pang wika sa mga probinsya. Sabi ng nanay ko, sa pananaw niya, hindi tamang tawaging "dialect" ang mga wika sa ibang probinsya dahil kung pakikinggan mong maiigi, sobrang naiiba ang mga salita nila sa Tagalog. Palagay ko may punto siya. Kaya naiintindihan ko kung halimbawang Cebuano ka at mas sanay ka mag-Ingles kaysa mag-Filipino. Pero ibang usapan na ang lumaki sa Maynila pero hirap sa Filipino.

Hindi ako galit sa mga Pilipinong hindi sanay mag-Filipino. Natutunan ko na silang mahalin. Pero naiinis lang talaga ako na umabot tayo sa ganito. Sana, madami pa akong kapwa Pilipino na mainis din para magawan ito ng paraan. Sana, yung mga may anak, sanayin nila ang mga anak nilang magsalita sa sariling wika at huwag ito ikahiya. Tutal, Ingles naman na ang gamit nila sa paaralan at Ingles pa ang mga cartoons na pinapanood nila. At sa mga hindi sanay mag-Filipino, aralin niyo ang wika niyo. Mahalin niyo ito at pangalagaan. Sa mga hindi naman marunong mag-Ingles, wag kayo mahiya. Si Jackie Chan, baluktot mag-ingles, nahihiya ba siya? Hindi ko sinasabing huwag niyo na aralin ang Ingles. Malungkot man isipin, kailangan niyo ito sa trabaho at para umasenso. Pero sana, kahit kailan huwag niyong kalilimutan ang Filipino.

***
Apparently, Soriano's article on the Filipino language became a big deal. I'm reading FB statuses and tweets about it and now, the article cannot be accessed through Manila Bulletin's website. But I did get to read it through a high school friend's blog. If you want, here's the link. I don't know who got offended and why, but I wasn't. I wasn't offended, but I was really angered by what I read. And thinking about it again now makes me angry all over again.

I will admit that speaking, thinking, and writing in straight Filipino isn't very easy. There will be some thoughts and ideas that are easier to express in English than in Filipino. But on a normal day to day conversation, I'm still more comfortable with Filipino. That's because I grew up in a school and home where Filipino is used as the primary language. At our school, just try speaking in English and see if you won't get laughed at teased. We've always hated "konyos" from private schools. But when my world got a bit larger, I realized that there were more of these English-speaking Filipinos who weren't very comfortable with their native language.

I'm angered by the situation our country is facing now. I'm frustrated that those who are educated are the ones who aren't comfortable in using their own language. I hate that the Filipino language is only being used in that subject. It ticks me off that a lot of young people see Filipino as just one of their class subjects, and one they hate and fail at for that matter. And I don't think it's right that we are so easy to judge and laugh at a person who's English grammar is erroneous while we find nothing wrong with Filipinos who grew up in Manila but can't speak straight Filipino and even have a twang!

I understand that the issues surrounding the National Language is controversial considering the many languages we have in the country. My mom believes that the Philippines doesn't only have many dialects but some of these dialects are actually a completely different language of their own. I think she has a point because if you do listen to these so called dialects, it sounds so different from Tagalog. And that's why I understand that Cebuanos, for example, prefer English over Filipino. And that's ok. But not for those who grow up in Manila.

I'm not angry at the people who have a hard time speaking in Filipino. In fact, I've learned to love them. I'm angry that we got into the situation we are now in. I hope other Filipinos get angry too and start doing something about it. I hope those who have children teach their kids how to use, value, and love the language. Talk to them in Filipino, after all, they are already using English in school and even the cartoons they watch are in English. I hope that those who are not used to speak in Filipino would try to use it more often and learn more about the language and the beauty of it. And for those who aren't used in speaking and writing in English, don't be ashamed. Jackie Chan can't speak English well either, you don't see him shying away. I'm not saying you neglect the language. Sad to say, but you will need English to progress in the workplace. But I hope that no matter what, you never forget and neglect your own language.

Congratulations, It's a Girl!

2011-08-22T03:37:00.000-07:00

I don't know if it's just me, but a lot of people seem to be having new things in their lives. It seems to be a season of change and new-ness. New jobs, new relationships, new marriages, new babies. I know of at least 5 people who had new babies for the past few months or in the coming months. Well, as I've shared a few weeks ago, I too have a new baby, a baby dog that is.

I've already introduced you all to Sophie. And I'm still quite obsessed with her. Sabi nga ni mommy, para akong nanay.

It's been said that dogs are awesome pets, that they are loyal and dependable. But I've never really had that kind of relationship with my previous dogs. I guess that's because I didn't know how to take care of them. I never really took the time to train them and play with them. And now that I'm trying really hard, I'm beginning to see how sweet dogs can be. When I get home she greets me. While having dinner she rests on my feet (usually chewing on our slippers). While walking around the house, she would follow me around. Sometimes, I would find her just watching me.

I still love cats, they will always have a special place in my heart. But Sophie is just so cute and smart. :) I've successfully taught her how to sit and lie down. I'm trying to teach her to stay. It's a bit more difficult, but with patience and yummy treats, I think we'll get there. I hope I get to teach her to fetch as well. I want to be able to play fetch and frisbee with her someday. ☺

And if you're wondering about Soya, my cat, he is still as fat as ever. Unfortunately though, we need to separate them because Sophie overpowers Soya. I'm still not sure how to handle the situation. Soya sometimes likes the rough play too, except that Sophie's a bit too rough sometimes. We can't always be there to reprimand her when she gets too rough and it's hard to run after them specially when they get under the tables. If you have any suggestions or advice, I'd love to hear it. :)

Where do you want to go?

2011-08-21T07:41:00.000-07:00

I've heard it said that the rule in biking is, you go where you look. That's why when you ride a bike, you're focus should be in the direction you are going, not at your sides or on your wheels or the ground. I saw an accident on TV wherein this guy was distracted by a car, and so he started focusing on the car, and that's exactly where he headed, crashing straight on.

I believe that the same is true with life. You end up where you focus on. Some people fix their eyes on getting rich, some on drugs and alcohol, some on their careers, others on relationships. Some of those aren't bad. Who wouldn't want to get rich, have a wonderful
career and a great partner in life. Nothing wrong with those, except that even if you do attain all those things (if it even were possible to attain it all) without God in your life, it's pretty much empty and meaningless. We see billionaires commit suicide, people who have their career in the bag but can't find complete joy and satisfaction, or people who have a loving partner but still feel insecure and inadequate. Why is that? Because a relationship with Jesus is what we really need. That's why the bible clearly tells us to "fix our eyes on Jesus" because only He can truly fill the void in our lives.

Personally, I find that one of my major distractions is myself. Before you call me narcissistic, think about it first. Doesn't our culture tell us to "believe in yourself"? "Have faith in yourself", "love yourself", "forgive yourself", "you can do it", "follow your heart", and so on. We live in a world where we are encouraged to focus on ourselves, what we want, what we need, me, me, me. No wonder we have so many people with ego problems and yet have so much insecurities at the same time.

Quite honestly, I can't trust myself. I always make mistakes. I don't have a very good judgement on people. The things I think I need and want aren't always what's best for me and for others. And no matter how much I try, things don't always go my way. So how can I trust myself? How can you trust yourself if like me, you're not perfect?

The times I find myself depressed and frustrated are the times I find myself focusing on myself. No amount of positive thinking and positive reinforcement ever covers up the void and the longing to become someone better. To just tell myself that I'm good enough, and that I can do it, and that I have what it takes is all wishful thinking.

Fixing my eyes on myself gets me nowhere. I end up running around in circles. Tired, frustrated and back where I started.

But thank God He came to this earth to live a life I can claim as my righteousness. He paid the price for my sins so I wouldn't have to. And He rose again and sent the Holy Spirit so I could live for Him. I live for the Risen King. My security is in Him. I can do what He calls me to do because He enables me. I am loved and I can love because He loves me with an unfailing love, not with fleeting human emotions. I don't have to live in a life of guilt and condemnation because His mercy is new every day. And I can have faith and believe, not in my insufficient self, but in Him who is eternal, powerful and faithful.

You go where you are looking. Fix your eyes on Jesus and allow Him to take you places. Not the places you think you want to go or the places you think you need to be, but the place where you will be most fruitful and satisfied because He will be right there with you.

Ang Babae sa Septic Tank

2011-08-19T06:29:00.000-07:00

Noong nakaraang Sabado, nanood ako ng Ang Babae sa Septic Tank kasama ang mga kaibigan ko nung college ako. Nanood ako dahil sabi nila maganda daw. Nanood ako dahil Prof. namin nung college ang direktor. Kaya ayun, nanood kami sa Trinoma.

Laking gulat ko na punong puno ang sinehan. Sobrang puno na siya na sa ikatlong row na kami nakaupo. Ang dami palang nanonood, o dahil kaya sa Sabado kasi? Dahil din siguro madaming nakarinig na maganda daw, nakakatawa daw, bentang benta daw. Kaya katulad ko, nanood din sila.

Sobrang natuwa ako sa pelikulang ito. Kung gusto mo lang tumawa at ayaw mo masyadong mag-isip, magandang panoorin ito. Pero kung katulad kita na mahilig mag-isip at susuriin mo ang pelikula, madami itong sinasabi tungkol sa larangan ng media. Makikita mo ang takbo ng pag-iisip ng mga bago at nagsisimula palang. Makikita mo ang mga pangarap nila at mga hinaharap nilang hamon. Nadaplisan din nito ang seryosong kalagayan ng kahirapan sa bansa sa pamamaraang hindi pangkaraniwan.

Kakaiba. Siguro yun ang nakakatuwa sa kaniya. Hindi ito tulad ng ibang Indie Film na napanood ko na madrama o seryoso ang dating. Pero kahit nakakatuwa siya at magaan sa loob, may lalim siya at may sinasabi. Hindi siya kababawan lang. Taliwas sa iniisip ng iba na dapat kagitla-gitla at makabagbag damdamin ang isang pelikula o art work para makapaglahad ng seryoso o kontrobersyal na mga paksa, ipinapakita ng Ang Babae sa Septic Tank na may iba pang paraan para pag-isipin ang mga manonood.

Gayunpaman, merong mga hindi naka-gets ng pelikula, katulad ng mga kasunod namin palabas ng sinehan. Sabi nila: "Anong maganda dun? Wala man lang ibang artista. Sayang ang Php160 natin." Madaming tumakbo sa isip ko habang naririnig ko sila, pero sa akin na lang 'yon. Ang masasabi ko, ganun talaga. Kahit anong art work, mapa-pelikula man, painting, sculpture, o musika, mayroon at mayroong hindi makaka-gets. Magandang bagay iyon, dahil ibig sabihin may pag-igting o tension at importante iyon kung gusto nating umunlad. Basta wala kang binabastos, magandang magdulot ng healthy tension sa publiko. Magandang mapag-iisip mo sila para magkusa silang alamin ang totoo at gumawa ng sarili nilang opinyon.

Kung may pagkakataon kayo, panoorin niyo din at kayo ang magsabi sa akin kung maganda nga siya, kung napa-isip ka nga ba, o natawa ka lang kay Eugene Domingo. Huwag lang kayo mag expect ng high quality o high definition. Pixelized siya dahil computer projector lang ang gamit. Hindi ko alam ang buong kuwento kung bakit. Pero kung ako ang tatanungin, sulit pa din ang ibinayad ko.

Why So Serious?

2011-08-17T03:17:00.000-07:00

Actually, what I wanted to do at first was make a Funny Faces Friday because I like making funny ugly faces and i thought of weekly posting a funny face of me. But then, I thought to myself, do I really want to humiliate myself each week? And, do I have enough funny faces to make every week for the rest of my life?

That's why, from Funny Faces Fridays, it evolved to Whimsical Wednesdays- a day dedicated for funny, amusing and playful blogs. I'm not always serious, you know.

Catching Up...

2011-08-15T05:32:00.000-07:00

I missed the first Serious Sunday! I hope this doesn't happen often, but since Motley Monday is my anything goes day, I hope it's ok if I carry over what was suppose to be yesterday's blog. This topic has been swimming in my head for over a week now, and I don't think I can move on if I don't get it out.

I want to blog about art and artists. I figured that it's a relevant issue, and I cannot put it off until the coming Sunday because by then, it might not be as relevant anymore. And being an artist myself, this is something pretty close to my heart. I constantly think about art and what is becoming of it, how it is being used, how it affects people and how it affects me.

In our times, the definition of art has become so complicated. So complicated and debatable, in fact, that it has no definition anymore. The definition of art has become opinions of what it is, what it should be and what it should not be. People have taken away its boundaries and made whatever they want of it.

And so I won't even try to define art lest I get into an argument. I think, for as long as we live, it's definition will always be challenged, debated, and redefined. But regardless of the definition, art should not be irresponsible and disrespectful.

Yes, there is freedom of expression, but that does not free us from being responsible for what we express and how we express it. So many people (not just artists) abuse this freedom. Art is a powerful form of communication which is why artists need to be careful. Who sees the piece and what messages might come across should at the very least be taken into consideration. Hiding behind relativity and subjectivity is cowardice, immaturity and laziness.

Respect is another thing that some artists seem to be forgetting. I know that artists can have very wild minds, and that is what makes them artists. They continually push boundaries, but sometimes they push way too much and begin to step on people's toes, setting them on the edge. I don't know what it is about the Catholic faith that artists seem to just love to push their buttons, constantly portraying the saints and the image of Jesus in morbid and gross ways. The thing is, we all already know how easily offended and defensive they can get. Distorting the images they worship is obviously not the way to get them to change anything or rethink their ways. Artists should learn to respect Catholics just as they would respect Hindus and Buddhists by respecting the images they worship.

So much of the artworks I see now are irresponsible and disrespectful. And i'm not just talking about "ugly" art. A lot of skillfully made, amazingly beautiful art are actually irresponsible and disrespectful. I hope artists will not just stop at self-expression. Art is so much more than that. Art is a gift, and to be an artist is a privilege. Let's not misuse it.

Hindi ako marunong magluto, pero...

2011-08-12T06:07:00.000-07:00

may bago akong pakulo. Ito din ang dahilan kung bakit ako nagbo-blog sa wikang Filipino. Napag-isipan ko na gawing masaya ang pag-blog ko sa pamamagitan ng mga bagong categories. Kung mapaninindigan ko ito, mas madalas na akong magbo-blog at magkakaroon ng karagdagang kaayusan ang aking blog! :D Yehey! Magdiwang tayo!

Haha. Hayaan niyong ipaliwanag ko ang kabaliwan ko.
Mula ngayon, ang mga blog ko ay magkakaroon ng apat na kategoriya:

• Motley Mondays: Ito ang halo-halong araw. Sa madaling sabi, ang mga blog na mapupunta sa kategoriya na ito ay tungkol sa kahit anong gusto ko dahil pag Lunes, madami akong free time mag-blog at mag-isip. Ang mga blog na mapupunta dito ay maaring tungkol sa sarili ko, maaring tungkol sa aso ko, at maari ring tungkol sa buhay ng mga tao sa Alaska. Ito ang ibig sabihin ng Motley, kung nais ninyong malaman. At para sa kaalaman ninyo, nahirapan ako isipan ng salita ang araw na ito. XD
• Whimsical Wednesdays: Ang mga blog na kabilang dito ay tungkol sa mga nakakatuwa o nakakatawang bagay o mga bagay na hindi seryoso. Una kong naisip na gawin itong Wacky o Weird Wednesdays, kaso baka hindi ko mapangatawanan ang wackiness at weirdness.. baka maubusan ako! Kaya whimsical na lang dahil ayon sa dictionary, ito ang ibig sabihin ng whimsical: playfully quaint or fanciful, esp. in an appealing and amusing way.
• Filipino Fridays: Ito ang dahilan kung bakit nasa wikang Filipino ang blog na ito, para pasok siya sa Filipino Fridays. Hehe. Gusto ko kasi may isang category ako na Filipino ang gamit ko o/at tungkol sa Pilipinas o mga Pilipino ang topic ko. Yes, ako na ang makabayan.
• Serious Sundays: Kailangan pa bang i-explain yan? Dito mapupunta ang mga blog ko na seryoso. Malamang tungkol ito sa mga paniniwala ko at realizations tungkol kay God or tungkol sa ano mang bagay na palagay ko ay importante at dapat pag-isipan.

Ayan! Yan ang aking bagong pakulo. :D Sana mapangatawanan ko, at makapag-blog ako more regularly. Hehehe. Kung sakaling may mga blog ako na hindi kasali sa kahit alin sa mga iyan, maaring ilagay ko ita sa ibang araw at ilagay sa kategoriyang "Random". Haha. Kung sakali lang naman. :p Ibig sabihin din, ang susunod kong blog ay sa Linggo na.. abangan niyo ang unang blog ko na kabilang sa Serious Sundays :)

World, Meet Sophie

2011-08-05T08:45:00.000-07:00

A few months ago, Yakee, our dog, passed away. He's been with us since I was in highschool, so he's actually kinda old. Since then, I've been contemplating on getting a new dog, but I felt like we weren't ready yet. Besides, it seemed out of the question since we also have a cat. I also wanted to make sure that if we had a new dog, he/she would grow up behaved and well trained. So in my mind, I would only get a dog if I'm sure I can commit to taking care of it, which wouldn't be until a few more years.

Well, I was wrong. About a week ago, my Tita decided to take home 2 pups. She kept one and gave the other to us. So now, everybody, meet Sophie.

I was told that Sophie is a Collie, not a pure bred one though. I looked at some pictures in the internet, and she does kinda look like a Border Collie. I guess we'll really find out when she grows up.

So far, Sophie's doing well. She's well provided for, thanks to my Tita, who bought her food, toys, cage and stuff. She's only about 8 weeks old, if I'm not mistaken. She spends most of her time sleeping or playing with the cat. They seem to be getting along well.

I'm kind of obsessed right now. I'm always thinking about her because I really want her to grow up well-trained and behaved. I've been reading up on how to train and take care of a dog and I've been watching Cesar Milan. Haha. I'm hoping to apply what I'm learning. It sounds and looks so easy, but putting it into action is so challenging. I wish I could actually have Cesar Milan come over.

Sleeping after playing with Soya

Look at that cute bottom!

What is it with dogs and slippers?

Having a puppy is not easy. But it's really fun and exciting. I just really, really hope we raise and train her correctly because I wouldn't want her to end up living outside the house. If you have any tips for me, I would gladly accept them! :D

Taho sa Umaga

2011-07-22T03:31:00.000-07:00

Kaninang umaga, kumain ako ng taho na hindi sa mall binibili. Ang saya saya ko na sa subdivision namin may naglalako pa din ng taho tuwing umaga o hapon. At masaya ako para kay manong magtataho dahil ayon sa kaniya, laging nauubos ang nilalako niya. Gusto ko din bigyang pugay si manong dahil ang subdivision namin ay medyo nasa bundok kaya ang mga kalsada ay matarik na paakyat at pababa. Hindi ko ma-imagine ang pakiramdam ng may dalang taho sa balikat mo habang paakyat baba sa mga daanan dito. Tunay na dakila si manong magtataho.

Noong bata ako, tuwing umaga may naglalako din ng taho. Isa ito sa mga nagpapaalala sa akin ng kabataan ko. Hindi lang taho ang nilalako noon tuwing umaga. Meron ding naglalako ng yakult, at sa hapon naman ice cream. Meron din ice scramble paminsan, na ngayon ay commercialized na. Sa gabi naman, balut at penoy ang sigaw ng mga nagtitinda.

Bukod sa mga nilalakong pagkain, kasama din sa mga childhood memories ko ang paglaro sa labas ng bahay. Tuwing hapon, lumalabas kami ng mga kapit bahay ko para maglaro. Minsan maglalaro kami ng patintero, taguan at habulan. Madaming klase ng habulan noon. May shake shake shampoo, monkey monkey, habulan upo at langit lupa. Kung minsan naman, dun kami sa playground. Minsan inaabot kami ng gabi sa labas. Hindi ko alam kung bakit ganun na lang kami maglaro, parang walang bukas. Tapos kinabukasan naman, yun ulit ang mga nilalaro namin, hindi kami nagsasawa.

Ang sarap maging bata. At napaka-laking pasasalamat ko na naging bata ako noong mga panahong uso pa maglaro sa labas, gamitin ang imahenasyon, at konti pa lang ang computer games. Kahit kulelat ako sa mga habulan, masaya akong pinagdaanan ko ang mga ganung laro.

At ang lahat ng ito ay naisip ko dahil sa taho. :9

Google + Me

2011-07-15T09:04:00.000-07:00

I've been using Google Plus for about a week now. It's pretty interesting and it seems to be contending well against Facebook. It's quickly growing and stirring up people's curiosity. Some actually think it might beat Facebook. I know some people who left Facebook completely and moved to Google Plus. I'm not about to do that anytime soon, but i must admit, Plus is doing much better than Google's previous attempts at social networking like Wave and Buzz, both of which i also tried and got bored with immediately.

What Google Plus has done is it took what already exists, put it together, added improvements and packaged everything really well. Add a little exclusivity in the beginning to make it more desirable, come in at a time when people are starting to get annoyed and bored with the existing social networking sites, and they are off to a really good start.

Just like Facebook, it lets you share photos, videos, links and whatever you're up to. People can comment on your posts and you can comment on other people's posts. Google improved it a bit by allowing you to disable comments on your post and muting other people's a posts so you don't get bugged by notifications.

Circles are just like Facebook's 'lists' except that Google made it a requirement, thus, encouraging it's members to manage their circles well and informing them that this is the way to filter your stream so it won't get cluttered and annoying. By clicking on "stream", you see the posts of all your circles. But if you want to see only the posts of the people that matter, just click the circle where the people that matter are included. How you segregate your contacts is completely up to you, and they won't find out so you won't have to feel guilty when adding someone to your "i can't remember who these are" circle. :p

Hangouts is actually fun and Facebook doesn't have it yet. It's a video conference, i don't know how many people can get into a hangout, but it's a great way to stay in touch with friends and family. You can also share videos from youtube while hanging out so you see each other, talk to each other, and watch the same video all at once. It's quite fun and i think it has great potential.

Sparks is another new thing that Google can do because they are also the leading search engine in the world. Basically, you enter in an area of interest and you see a list of links that fall under that interest. And since it's already right there, it becomes so easy to share it.

Of course there's also Chat which is faster and gives you the option of being invisible or busy.

Those are just some of the features that I like about Google+. There might be more i'm yet to discover. Oh, i read in this blog that you can actually edit pictures once you've already uploaded it. That's really interesting. :) Anyway, i'm no expert when it comes to social networking sites. I'm simply airing out my opinions and i might just be enjoying it because it's new. So don't take my word for it, try it out, and let me know how it goes. :)

John 12:24

2011-07-11T02:18:00.000-07:00

In sickness and in health...

2011-07-10T00:40:00.000-07:00

Being sick is one of the things that i absolutely hate. Unfortunately, i am sick, and i've always been sick since i was a baby. I have beta thalassemia major, the inability of the body to produce normal blood cells. It's actually quite manageable. Most people probably won't realize something's wrong with me when they first see me. But my illness, even though it's not obvious, has major implications in my health and the way i live. That's why i absolutely hate getting sick because a simple cough so easily progresses to something serious, like pneumonia.

I've realized that being sick is one of the situations that really tests my faith. Whenever I get sick, I would find myself really depressed and oftentimes nagtatampo kay Lord. Times like this I begin to doubt God. Most of the time, I doubt His love. I don't doubt His power, i know He can heal miraculously. But because He's never done it in my life (yet!), i begin to doubt His love for me.

Does He really love me? Does He really care? Does He really want me to get better? Because when i get sick, i can't help but feel that he's pushing me away, that he's giving me a reason to not believe in him. Maybe He doesn't want me. Maybe i'm one of those who are doomed to go to hell.

Is it weird of me to have these thoughts? Maybe. Maybe not. Maybe other's out there feel the same way, that God doesn't want them. That if there is a God, then He's intentionally giving me a hard time because He hates my guts.

But then, I remember the cross. I remember Jesus and the price He paid so I can be with Him. Jesus, having all the glory and power and majesty humbled himself to become a weak, puny human so He could live the life I cannot and die the death i deserve. And He did all this for me before i even knew who He was. If that's not love, i don't know what is.

Romans 5:6-8 says: "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

That is how much God loves us. And His love is so pure and true, we can cling to it in times of trouble. His love is so strong and noble, it keeps us from straying away. His love is so real and great, it enables us to stand in the storm of doubt. His love is so high, so deep, so wide that nothing can separate us from it.

God's love has reached out and embraced us for eternity. And for eternity, I choose to worship my Lord. No sickness or doubt will ever keep me from doing so. What about you?

Our days are numbered

2011-06-25T05:29:00.000-07:00

It's been over a month since my last blog post. I've been kind of busy and it's kind of hard to get back to blogging once you've stopped for a long time. I wish I could blog about what I've been up to lately, but it's something I can't share publicly.

Meanwhile, I've been thinking about "busy-ness" in general. Everyone seems to be busy, usually with work. And I'm fascinated with famous people who are extremely busy I can't even imagine how they do it. Some people just fly in and out of the country, engage in meetings here and there, go to events as guests and speakers or whatever, and still have time for their family. At least that's what I see in their tweets. It just baffles me. I wonder if they even sleep.

Honestly, I don't really like being busy. I like having free time. I like being able to wake up late and have time to do nothing, literally nothing. But I've had a chance to talk to someone who falls into the category of impossibly-busy-flying-in-and-out-of-the-country-well-known-and-respected-person. And it was interesting what I've learned.

I've learned that you can choose to make your busy-ness work for you. As he was talking, I was thinking, here is a man who knows what is truly important and knows what is truly worth his time and what is not. I've been trying to apply this in my life. Having limited time and energy, I'm learning to choose my activities carefully. Sometimes it's a difficult decision because what I want may not always necessarily be what's worth my time. I'm also learning to be efficient, to make good use of my "free time" without necessarily killing myself due to stress and fatigue.

I'm still learning, and sometimes I still fail to "budget" my time properly. But I'm grateful for this experience because it's giving me an opportunity to be pruned of the unproductive less meaningful things in my life.

Teach us to number our days,
that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

-Psalm 90:12

God still doesn't make sense.

2011-05-15T22:32:00.000-07:00

People, including me, are just obsessed with understanding things. When I was a kid (even more so now, actually) whenever my mom would ask me to do something, I would ask "why?" And when she wouldn't allow me to go somewhere or do something, again, I would ask, "why?" And i so hated the answer: "Because I'm Mommy."

Life is like that a lot. At every corner things don't happen the way we want it to. And no one could ever really answer why.

That's why I'm so excited about our new series in church, "When God doesn't make sense". It's really great 'coz it's both timely and timeless. For me, it's very personal, because there was a time when I greatly struggled with questions, doubts, and complaints. And I really had A LOT of complaints before God, from the most petty (petty, now that i think about it) to the more serious ones (or at least serious for me).

I want to understand things, I want to understand what I'm doing. Most of us, if not all, are like that. We feel like we need to understand why and how and when. And it gets frustrating when we don't get the answers we want. The easiest thing to do is to reject and rebel. If the answers don't come or aren't as we want them to be, if it doesn't sit well with our understanding and logic, then we find alternative answers, ones that are easier to chew and swallow.

I look back to all my complaints, questions, and doubts. And honestly, most of them still remain unanswered and unresolved. I wanted to understand everything and the more i tried to understand, the more i couldn't understand. Growing up in a school that put no value in God was of no help at all. And being the introvert that I am, no one even noticed how much I was hating my life.

I would like to say that I held on to God and refused to let go because I realized in the end that I had nowhere else to go and I could not deny a truth that I do not understand but have definitely experienced. That would be a nice thing to say. But it's not what happened. The truth is, I wanted a way out of this Christianity thing. I was getting tired of believing the unbelievable, praying for the impossible, and trying to do the right thing when everyone else wasn't. So, no. I did not hold on to God for dear life. On the contrary, God held on to me. Out of God's divine love, He gently lifted up this weak, insecure, confused little girl who was running around in circles and tripping on her own toes. Only then did I realize I had nowhere else to go and I could not deny a truth that I do not understand but have definitely experienced.

Though the fig tree does not bud

and there are no grapes on the vines,

though the olive crop fails

and the fields produce no food,

though there are no sheep in the pen

and no cattle in the stalls,

yet I will rejoice in the LORD,

I will be joyful in God my Savior.

-Habakkuk 3:17-18

God didn't answer all my questions. God didn't answer all my prayers. But He pursued me and He loved me when I was most unlovable. And that's why I'm still here. Even if God still doesn't make sense.

Is it too late for a Lenten Blog?

2011-04-25T03:59:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, when I feel like I've offended or neglected God, I have the tendency to gloat over my mistake. I'm often tempted to focus on what I've done wrong and how imperfect I am and how disappointed God must be. And I just realized that I apparently have this twisted mindset that if I feel bad enough about myself and my shortcomings, maybe God would be impressed by how "sorrowful" I am. If I beat myself up enough, then God would probably take it easier on me.

Of course, I couldn't be more wrong.

I don't have to beat myself up, Jesus already took the beating for me. I don't have to hate myself, Jesus was hated on my behalf. I don't have to bear the guilt, shame and condemnation because Jesus already bore it all for me. There is nothing I can do or feel to add to what Jesus did. And anything I do or try to do is an insult to Him because it is me saying: "Lord, what you did is not enough, so I have to add just a little more so that I can be justified."

Instead of being able to stand up and move on, I only end up frustrated, depressed and confused with myself and my situation. I become so engulfed by negativity that it becomes harder for me to find my way back to God. All the while, what I really needed to do was to repent, fix my eyes on Jesus and come before God as I am, no cover ups, no false humility and pretentious sorrow. Jesus lived the righteous life that I could not, and when I come before God, it is not my sin that He sees, but the blood of Jesus that cleanses me of my sin. Then I can stand up and move on. Then God strengthens me and enables me to try again and do it right. And when I make another mistake, I repent again and continue following Christ. And little by little, God prunes me and molds me and I become better at following and obeying Him. :)

All this I have to remind myself each day. Thank God for His grace and patience! :D

My Top 3 in Singapore

2011-04-16T23:02:00.000-07:00

Singapore seems to be the place to be. A lot of people are going there or has been there lately, and since we couldn't go to Japan, we decided to go to Singapore instead. :D

I must say, I love Singapore. It's clean, safe, and beautiful. We stayed there for 4 days and one of those days was my birthday! I'm kinda having a hard time blogging about it because I don't know where to start and I can't believe I was actually in Singapore. To make things easier for me, let me enumerate my Top 3 Experiences in Singapore.

#3: I'm gonna cheat here coz I can't decide what to put in my number 3.. :|
I loved Sentosa, but we weren't able to do so much here. We just took a sneak peek of the beaches and attractions there. I also enjoyed the Songs of the Sea, as kiddie as it was, the lights were just really pretty :3 Light projection on water is amaaazing! The City Tour was also great, coz I enjoyed the architecture. The buildings in Singapore are beautiful and it was surprising to see old architecture coexisting with modern architecture. That was something I did not expect to see.

Singapore City Scape at Night

#2: Universal Studios
It was super fun. I only rode two rides: the mummy indoors roller coaster and the rapids in jurassic park. both were really fun. We also watched the waterworld, the special effects show, the 4D and donkey's live show. haha. I think we spent most of our time taking pictures. haha.

Me, Mommy, Ate, Javerri

#1: Lion King
I think all 4 of us would agree that Lion King was really the highlight of our stay in Singapore. It was awesome. They captured the movie without compromising the art. I think artists would definitely enjoy this and appreciate it, I really don't have words to describe it, you have to see it for yourself! If I get the chance, I would definitely watch it again! Definitely!

Pictures weren't allowed inside the theater :c

There was still so much to do and see. I wasn't able to go to Bugis, or walk the DNA bridge (though I did get to see it), I didn't even get to go to the Esplanade and see the famous Merlion! (But I did see the merlion in sentosa) It was difficult to plan the day with 3 people who wanted to do everything but had no idea what there was to do (my sister has been to Singapore before). But it was still such a fun and memorable experience and it all ended too soon.

I'm so thankful for Tita Ashelle and Tita Debbie for welcoming us in their home, and what a nice home it was!! :D Thank you for showing us around and bearing with our indecisiveness. :p I'm also so happy to see Ate Ems and Ate Sheila... I wish I had more time to spend with them. But what I'm most thankful for is spending time with my sister! I wish we had more time to talk and just lounge around.. :(

So basically, I still ended up blogging about everything. haha. XD Anyway, until next time, Singapore, I hope to see you again. I still want to see more of Sentosa and visit your museums. :D

hindi ako mapakali kung mananahimik lang ako

2011-03-28T19:47:00.000-07:00

hindi lang to tungkol kay willie revillame. hindi siya ang punot dulo ng problema. pero dahil siya ang host ng palabas at nakapangalan pa to sa kaniya, lahat ng insulto naka tuon sa kaniya at naibato na sa kaniya.

oo, mali siya. hindi niya dapat pinagtawanan si jan-jan, hindi na niya dapat pinaulit-ulit pa ang pagsayaw ni jan-jan, at dapat bilang host siya ang unang nakakita na may mali sa mga nangyayari. dapat siyang matanggal sa show. at kung ako ang tatanungin, hindi na siya dapat magkaroon ng bagong show dahil pang ilang pagkakamali na niya to. obvious ba? hindi siya magandang modelo. pero hindi mawawala ang problema kahit i-ban natin siya sa tv habang buhay.

hindi lang siya ang problema. hindi si jan-jan ang unang bata na sumayaw ng ganiyan sa tv. kadalasan mga batang babae ang nakikita kong sumasayaw ng hindi kaaya-aya. ito yung mga sayaw na katulad ng giling giling, mga sayaw na dati sasabihin mong malaswa at mga stripper ang sumasayaw pero for some reason, naging normal na at nakakatuwa sa mata ng iba.

at yun mismo ang problema. pababa ng pababa ang standard natin pagdating sa kalaswaan. dati makita lang ang legs ng babae, nakakahiya na. pero ngayon, basta matakpan lang private parts katanggap tanggap na. hindi ko sinasabi na bumalik tayo sa panahon ng black and white tv at ipagbawal natin ang bikini. kumplikado ang problema, at hindi ito maso-solusyunan ng simpleng pag-ban nito at pag-ban niyan. at hindi media lang ang may kasalanan kundi ang mga taong tumatangkilik ng mga ganitong palabas. ang nangyari sa willing willie ay isang wake-up call sa akin, at sana sa marami pang iba. yan ba talaga ang mga uri ng palabas na gusto natin? ano nga bang mensahe ng mga palabas na ito at ano ang nagiging epekto nito sa atin at sa mga batang nanonood nito? ganiyan ba ang gusto nating kalakihan ng mga susunod na henerasyon?

pinagdadasal ko na maging mas responsable ang mga producers at hosts ng tv shows natin. pinagdadasal ko na maging mas responsable ang mga magulang at gabayaan nila ng maayos ang mga anak nila. pinagdadasal ko na magkaroon ng wisdom sa papapalaki ng anak nila ang mga magulang. pinagdadasal ko na ang bawat pilipino ay maging maingat sa pinapanood nila at huwag lang tanggapin ng tanggapin ang hinahain sa kanila ng mga may hawak ng industriya.

lahat tayo ay parte ng problema, lahat din tayo ay maapektuhan nito, kaya kailangan lahat tayo ay maging parte din ng solusyon.

why i want to go bald.

2011-03-12T02:06:00.000-08:00

Denied

2011-03-07T02:50:00.000-08:00

It's frustrating when you believe and hope for something so much and then it doesn't happen. It's so heart breaking when you pray for it, put so much effort on it, save for it and really believe for it only to get denied.

It's tempting to think that I might have done something wrong and God was punishing me. It's tempting to envy my friends who got their prayers answered. It's tempting to stop believing for anything else from God in fear of being disappointed again in the future. After all, this isn't the first unanswered prayer I've had... maybe God just doesn't want to answer my prayers.

But I need to take captive of my thoughts and pull them back to the truth of who God is, not according to my experience, but according to His word.

Lord, I pray that you would help me keep believing. I pray that instead of losing hope, I will have greater faith knowing that you answer prayers. I know that in your perfect timing, my prayer will be answered, and I will know that it is YOU who made it happen, not my own effort or another's. In you're perfect time, everything will be provided for, and it will be beautiful. When that time comes, it won't just be awesome, it will bring glory to you as well.

3 Ways to Make Your Life Miserable

2011-02-19T01:24:00.000-08:00

1. Compare yourself to others.
The best way to feel insecure and sorry about yourself is to compare yourself to others. Look at them. Stalk them at Facebook. Look how happy they are. Look at how awesome their work is. Look at how much they earn. Then look at yourself. Look at how difficult your life is. Look at how you're not like them. There will always be someone out there who seems to have more that what you have, find them and compare yourself to them. I assure you, you will be miserable and depressed, frustrated at yourself.

2. Live in any other timezone besides now.
There are two ways to do this. Either you worry your hair white about the future or you bitterly look back at your past. Take your pick. Don't enjoy today and all the blessings and opportunities that present themselves at the moment. Totally miss out on them by living either in the past or the future and I assure you, you'll have wrinkles all over your face before you're 30.

3. Focus on what you want and don't have.
Try going to the mall and looking at all the awesome stuff they are selling. Don't just go to any mall, go to the real elite ones and check out all the branded products. Don't forget to check the price! Go gaga over the newest trends and the latest gadgets. If you can't go to the mall, check the magazines, open the television, go online. Something new and cool is always being sold, it's impossible to miss them. Stop being thankful for the food on your table or the clothes you already have and the house you're living in. It's not enough. It's never enough.

As you see, being miserable is easy. But being content and joyful takes faith and perseverance in a world that always offers self-gratification in the lifeless and fleeting. To sum it up, focusing on anything else besides God will always leave you empty. But fixing your eyes on God even when life itself tries to throw you off course, this is the way to live in joy that transcends all understanding, a joy that will not be shaken by the temporary suffering.

loved or alone?

2011-02-13T22:07:00.000-08:00

valentines day nanaman. ito ang araw na bentang benta ang mga flowers and chocolates. ito ang araw kung kelan pressured ang mga lalaking mabigay ng gifts habang ang mga babae naman ay na-i-insecure kapag wala silang natatanggap. pero kung nasa japan tayo, baliktad ang sitwasyon. mga lalaki ang tatanggap ng regalo habang babae naman ang nagbibigay. kaya kung lalaki ka, japan is the best place to be on valentines day.

going back... valentines day. para sa iba, singles awareness day aka SAD. it's the day when you either feel so loved or so alone.

as for me... wala lang. haha. wala akong reason para magustuhan at matuwa sa valentines day pero wala naman din akong reason para kamuhian ang araw na ito.

totoo, nagiging aware nga ako sa aking pagka-single, pero hindi naman ako nagmamadaling maging hindi single. in fact.. habang tumatagal, narerealize ko na hindi pa ako handa magka-boyfriend. kung regular friendships lang eh napapagod na akong i-maintain, how much more ang isang romantic relationship. kung nahihirapan nga akong i-balance ang family life, work life at social life, paano pa kung dadagdagan mo ng love life.

kaya ok lang na wala muna akong matatanggap na roses and chocolates. dadating din ang panahon na ang valentines ay magiging special para sa akin. for now, i will celebrate my singleness.

yes, this valentines, i'll be alone, but i am also loved because i am a bavarian, not a doughnut.

kung gusto niyo malaman ang kahulugan ng bavarian at doughnut, pumunta kayo dito at pakinggan ang message ni pstr paolo punzalan. hehehe. :p

please and thank you

2011-02-07T07:23:00.000-08:00

even as a kid, i never liked asking for stuff. i try my best not to ask for this or that as much as i can because in my mind i thought it somehow helped my mom that i don't bother her with things i can live without. so unless something is a need, i would not ask for it. it sounds really nice, thoughtful, and mature right? it seemed like the right thing to do, to not burden my mom and my family with stuff that i wanted but could live without. right?

not really. specially when it comes with our relationship with God.

God is not man that He has limited resources. He is not man that He can only accommodate one person at a time. God is not man that He gets stressed or tired.

God owns everything and controls everything. God can create something from nothing. God neither slumbers nor sleeps (psalm 121:4). And God can do immeasurably more than we could ask or imagine (ephesians 3:20).

to not ask Him for things we know He wants for us shows our lack of faith. to not ask God for promises He has already said yes to is to belittle and undermine His power. to not ask and believe wholeheartedly is to be lazy because it takes effort and energy to pray and persevere.

we can ask God for big, awesome, and great things because He is big, awesome, and great. we can believe God for the impossible because nothing is impossible for Him. we can ask God for anything in Christ's name because He said if we ask for anything in Christ's name we can be sure we'll receive it (John 16:23).

This is what I want you to do: Ask the Father for whatever is in keeping with the things I've revealed to you. Ask in my name, according to my will, and he'll most certainly give it to you. Your joy will be a river overflowing its banks!

- John 16: 23-24 (The Message)

What's in a name?

2011-01-26T06:56:00.000-08:00

names are pretty important. you carry it all your life and you are stuck with it. that's why there are books and websites about name meanings and origins. in the bible, you'll find names playing an important role in peoples lives as well. God changed Abram's name to Abraham when He gave the promise of numerous descendants.

fortunately, my mom gave me an awesome name. i looked it up and here's what i found.

Jodi:
Its source is Yehudith, a Hebrew name meaning "Jewish woman."
Other meanings include: "God will be praised" and "God will increase"
Bess:
Its source is Elisheva, a Hebrew name meaning "God's promise."
Other suggested meanings still relate to the fulfillment of a promise. They include ''God's satisfaction'' and ''God's perfection.''

i've looked up my name meanings before but this is the first time i encountered these. i do pray and hope i live up to my name. may God indeed be praised and increased in everything i do and how i live. and may i have the faith to believe for big things from God! :D

what about you? what does your name mean? :)

Sources: http://www.i-am-pregnant.com, http://www.babynamer.com/

7 Days

2011-01-13T07:24:00.000-08:00

Our church begins each year with a 7 day prayer and fasting.

I never really liked it, to be honest. I don't like not being able to eat foods I love. On 2009, I made the decision to not fast from food because I wanted to stop the act. That year God changed my heart about fasting, I realized it was not about what i was sacrificing, it was about what my heart was yearning for. On 2010, I did a Daniel's fast, basically just eating fruits and veggies. I survived, and my relationship with God deepened. This year, I knew I needed to eat because I had work and i was imuno-compromised. So I just fasted from meat and junk foods like the bags of Cheezy that stared at me each time I got home. No coffee either, no dairy products or chocolates.

I was off at a good start. I attended the noon prayer meetings and during the evenings from 7pm to 9pm, it was just me and God. But on Tuesday, Day 5, I encountered an obstacle. My throat began to hurt and that night I had tonsillitis and it hurt so much when I swallowed. If you know me, normal infections like these don't get better as normal infections. It progresses to something worse, and I would need be hospitalized. That's how it has been last year, and I was worried it would be the same now. God has been telling me the previous days to be active in my faith for healing, to claim it and believe it, to fight for it in prayer. And I was so excited... then I got sick.

But God is really good and faithful. Wednesday morning, I didn't have fever, it was really just my tonsils, they were really swollen. I broke my fast, but the food tasted blah so I ate very little. I still went to work because I didn't have fever and I don't have physical activities anyway. I'm glad I did because I got to join the prayer meeting. There, God in His awesomeness, rescued me from my worries and fears and doubts. My faith and confidence was renewed, i was hopeful once again.

Today was the last day of fasting. My throat doesn't hurt anymore. I don't know how long it takes for tonsillitis to get better, but for me, this was a record. No cough, no fever, no colds, no need for hospitalization and transfusion. My tonsils still seem swollen, but they're not painful anymore. Tomorrow, I can have lunch with the rest of the world with gladness. :D

And this, people of the world, is just the beginning.

The Christmas I Celebrate

2010-12-17T06:39:00.000-08:00

Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
I will give men in exchange for your life.
-- Isaiah 43:4

And in fact He did. He exchanged a man, not just any man, but a man God-- Jesus Christ, His only son. In exchanged for this man's life, we are spared from eternal death. For his blood, we have been given eternal life with our Father.

This is the Christmas I celebrate. It's not about me. It's not about getting presents. It's not even about giving presents. It's about love. An unconditional and everlasting love that only God can give.

Merry Christmas. :)

I have a dream, a song to sing...

2010-11-15T00:31:00.000-08:00

Yay, thanks to Marge, I found out about this Dream Europe contest and I joined it. Here's my Europe Dream...

Being sure of what you hope for...

My dream is for my mom's European dream to come true. It sounds cheezy, but that's what this is about. Of course I also want to see the old castles in Scotland, the rich history of Greece and the beautiful art and architecture of Italy, who wouldn't? But for me, what's more fulfilling and gratifying would be to know that I was a part of making my mom's dream come true. She has never been out of the country and she has devoted herself to raise me and my sister as a single mother. She's done all that she can so that me and my sister can have everything we need and more so this time, I want to help fulfill her dream. And I believe that it will come true because I believe that God is able to make dreams come true. So I close my eyes and imagine us feeling like royalty in Scotland, watching the sun set in Greece, and marveling at the art in Italy. Europe, here we come!

I don't usually do this.. but here's a huge favor, please click here type "jodibess" on the search bar to see my dream and Facebook like it to help me fulfill my mom's dream! :D

First Day Jitters

2010-11-02T08:21:00.000-07:00

Two months, what could happen in two months?! Why am I so nervous?! I'm excited too, but I'm really nervous. Maybe because I'm thinking about all the things I'm gonna miss, like my bed, my time, my comfortable spot in the house. And I don't know exactly what awaits me. Ah, the unknown. It taunts me. The possibilites of good things and not so good things. I don't know what to expect. Will it be difficult? Will it be fun? Will I go home dead tired or go home feeling fulfilled and productive? Or will it be both? Will I meet people's expectations or will i disappoint them? Will they disappoint me? And most importantly, what will I wear? LOL.

I know this will be good for me though.. change is good, no matter how challenging it may be. I know I'll probably be pushed out of my comfort zone into (duh?) uncomfortable situations, but I need that. Everyone needs that in order to grow.

Yes, I'm nervous, as if it's the first day of college all over again and I couldn't get out of the car even though I knew I was in my dream university taking up my dream course. Maybe I'm over-reacting and over-thinking it, I always do.

But no matter how much I over-think and get nervous, there is one thing I am sure of: That God will meet me and that after these 2 months, I will be a step closer to His plans and purposes for me.

So I look forward to an eventful last two months of 2010!

celebrating cuteness

2010-10-10T22:07:00.000-07:00

Heehee. Last night i found this picture in tumblr and it's just sooo cute!!!

Then this morning, I needed a happiness boost so I looked at it again :3 Hahaha! There's more here so if you are a cat lover like me, go check it out. :)

So this morning, I honestly and genuinely thanked God for creating cute things and giving humans the capability of recognizing cuteness. Haha. Because seriously, what would the world be like if not for cute kitties and puppies and babies! And i feel like cuteness is a universal thing, much like love.. lol. I mean, I feel like even the manliest of men still recognize cuteness when they see it. They may not squeal like I do, but i would like to think that everyone has a soft spot for cute things and creatures.

Interestingly though, it would seem that cuteness can so easily jump to morbidness. You know how when something is just so cute you want to squeeze it 'til it explodes or something like that. Hehehehe. Or think about Happy Tree Friends... they're so cute until they start bleeding all over.

This is a really funny blog. I don't know if I'm making sense, but I just also needed to blog. I don't want to wait for some brilliant idea before I blog again because that might take forever. haha. So, here's to all things cute! May we find the restraint to keep ourselves from hurting them. lol.

Breaking the silence

2010-09-24T03:37:00.000-07:00

So is blogging becoming just a once a month thing for me now? hehe. :p

I edit myself too much, I guess, is my problem. I'm too scared to get what's on my mind out in the open... too scared to be wrong, I guess? Or do i just have too much on mind that I don't know which ones to keep for myself and which ones to share? Or maybe it's both.

Either way, allow me to begin all over again. heehee. Forgive me for my never-ending beginnings... after all, isn't that what life is made up of? Reminds me of this song, can't remember the title but in the end it says "Every new beginning is another beginning's end." So, I am now ending the silence in this blog by beginning to open myself up to the public once again.

Hello citizens of Earth and dwellers of Cyber-land! I come in peace.

the 30 day drawing challenge

2010-08-06T05:46:00.000-07:00

i've been doing this 30-day drawing challenge lately, and i'm really enjoying it. :) i get to practice drawing. i feel like such an artist. haha! XD

if you want to see my drawings check out my tumblr.

Freedom with Purpose

2010-07-28T00:04:00.000-07:00

My favorite part about EN2010 was hearing stories of how God has changed lives of people from other parts of the world, parts of the world where the name of Jesus has never been heard of and the grace and love of God is so new and different.

Living here in the Philippines, a Christian Asian country, i think we (including me) have gotten used of the gospel. We've gotten used of hearing the story of how God loves us and Jesus died for us. We go to church every Sunday to hear this. We turn on the TV and hear this. We see it on bumper stickers, on frames hanging on the wall, on gates and welcome mats by the door.

We pass by these words and bible verses like their just any other inspirational quote. Sometimes we're even more touched by cheesy movie lines than the bible itself.

What we don't realize is that this same words in the bible are changing lives in other parts of the world. The bible we neglect here is giving hope and life in other parts of the world. Sometimes, we see prayer here as a chore, but for those in restricted areas, prayer is something they cannot live without. For them, God is so real, the word of God is so alive and every song they sing is an offering and a sacrifice.

The same power that God uses in those nations are present here too. The same miracles that happen there can happen here too. Lives here can be radically changed too. Let's stop neglecting what's already right in front of us. We have so much freedom and we can have as much of God as we want and need. We have so much that if we could only realize it, we would have more than enough to share to the world...

After all, isn't that what we are called for? To be a blessing to the nations? Isn't that why God has given us such freedom in the first place?

This sunshine's for you, my darling.

2010-06-03T23:31:00.000-07:00

Fully satisfied

2010-05-26T01:08:00.000-07:00

There’s so much I want right now that I don’t have. I want a regular job that I will enjoy, I want car, I want healing, I want direction in terms of career and so on. There’s nothing wrong with the things I want, in fact, they are good things to have and good things that one should have. Unfortunately, I don’t have any of those things right now. And I’ve been praying for these things for such a long time.

Strangely though, all I feel right now is nothing but gratitude. Actually, I’m overwhelmed with gratitude! And, no, I’m certain it’s not caffeine because I didn’t drink coffee today. hehehe.

And this is not just today. It’s been going on for quite a while. I’ve learned to be satisfied with what God has given me. More so, I’ve learned to find joy and contentment in Him, something far greater than riches and anything else the world can offer, this is why I’m so grateful.

I’m so grateful because God has taught me to be satisfied in Him, to be satisfied in Him and not in an awesome fulfilling job that gives me a sense of purpose, to be satisfied in Him and not in the nice things people say about me, to be satisfied in Him and not in a gorgeous beach body, etc.

I’m not saying I don’t want any of these things anymore. I’m not saying I won’t look for a job anymore. I don't intend to live in the mountains and live on twigs.

What I’m saying is, God is enough. God is more than enough. And I am so privileged and honored to be able to say this honestly, from the depths of my heart, from experience and walang halong biro. God is more than enough.

Caleb's shoes (or sandals for that matter)

2010-05-16T23:01:00.000-07:00

Caleb was 40 years old when the Israelites first got into the promised land. They surveyed the land and saw that it was good, except that they were going against giants. In fear, the other guys chickened out and grumbled against God. But not Caleb. He knew God would empower them.

Making the long story short, God got mad because Israel refused to trust Him so none of them would be going into the promised land, they would wander in the desert for a very long time and their children would be the ones to take over the land. Only Caleb and Joshua would be the ones from their generation to get into the land flowing with milk and honey.

Now, imagine Caleb. He followed God wholeheartedly, and sure God said he would still get into the promised land, but he still had to wander around the desert with the other Israelites for 40 years. He walked the same length under the same heat of the sun. Being in Caleb's shoes, it's so easy to get bitter and grumble. He didn't do anything wrong. He should be at the promised land by now. He should be eating those huge grapes and drinking all the milk he wants, but he's not.

Instead of getting bitter and grumbling, he trusts God. He trusted that when the time comes, he will enter the promised land. He trusted that when the time comes, he would still have strength for battle.

And he did.

"Now then, just as the LORD promised, he has kept me alive for forty-five years since the time he said this to Moses, while Israel moved about in the desert. So here I am today, eighty-five years old! I am still as strong today as the day Moses sent me out; I'm just as vigorous to go out to battle now as I was then. Now give me this hill country that the LORD promised me that day. You yourself heard then that the Anakites were there and their cities were large and fortified, but, the LORD helping me, I will drive them out just as he said."

Joshua 14:10-12

We all have something that we've been praying for and believing God for. Sometimes it comes immediately, sometimes it takes years. Either way, we can be sure that if God promised it, it will happen. The important thing is to obey God where you are right now. Trust Him, and be led by Him.

Turning Japanese ^,^

2010-05-15T06:35:00.000-07:00

I'm still here! haha. I said I'de blog more often, turns out it's harder than i thought... then again, "Harder" is my middle name. hahaha. :| ang corny ko naman.

Anyway, I really can't think about anything to blog about, but I feel like the longer I wait, the more difficult it's gonna get. So here I am! And I decided to blog about my Nihongo Class! Wee!!

For the past few weeks I've been studying Nihongo bacause, wala lang. Hehe. I happen to like japanese stuff. I like anime, I like sushi, I like fat cats, and all things cute. I've been enjoying it a lot, I keep talking about it with my family. So far we've tackled Hiragana and the basic sentence patterns like "this is a ______." and basic introductions and greetings. We've also learned counting. I love it. It's really difficult and confusing, but i love it. :D

So there. That's one thing that keeps me pre-occupied :) Someday, I'm gonna blog in japanese O.O haha.. kaya kaya yun?

To blog, or not to blog?

2010-05-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

My blog sites are becoming stagnant again. I like blogging, but I barely blog nowadays.

What’s hindering me? Truth is, I have so many reasons not to blog.

First, I get writer's block. It always happens to me, I’m somewhere else, alone, and I start thinking about something I find interesting and seemingly blog-worthy at the time. Then I get home, or get a hold of wifi, I start to write down my thoughts... and there’s nothing. Where did all those thoughts go? It sounded so solid in my head, all the words were perfectly falling in place. And now, it’s all gone. So I just get frustrated and forget about the entire thing.

Then there’s this whole insecurity issue. Who cares about what I have to say anyway? Who reads this thing anyway? What if what i’m saying sounds stupid to someone else? What if what i’m saying actually is stupid? Nobody really cares about what i say or think, --> insert more emo stuff here *tears* <--

And then, there’s the whole “too much info” thing. I mean, how do I know iI’m not saying too much already? There are, after all, things that are better off unsaid. There are, after all, some things that people don’t really need to know. What if this is one of those?

Finally, there’s my motives. I always assess my motives. And it’s weird, really, that I doubt my own motives. What if deep in my heart, what I really want is for people to notice me and think i’m really profound and awesome, and that I have a really cool life? If that’s my motive... then, what a conceited person I am.*

So what am I going to do? Am I going to blog, or not? And Why am I blogging anyway? And why should I be blogging in the first place if I were to blog?

Obviously, I resolve to blog anyway. Why? Because if I were to let my above said reasons hinder me, then I might as well just shut up forever and hide myself in my room because I always encounter these reasons in different situations and contexts. For example, I always encounter frustration in stuff I do, sometimes I encounter artist’s block in designing stuff, doesn’t mean I stop designing forever.

And I think, all my reasons boil down to one thing... its fear. I’m afraid. I'm afraid to be criticized, i’m afraid to make a mistake, i’m afraid of sharing a part of me to people. And this brings me to the why.

One reason I’m blogging is to overcome fear. As I said, i’m afraid of sharing myself to others, that’s why it takes me forever to be comfortable with people. I think blogging helps me. So, in a way, this is therapy for me. hehe.

And the more important reason that I want to blog is because I think, we all have something to learn from each other’s lives. Hopefully, somebody learns from my life too. I think everyone has something worthy to share, and apparently, i’m one of “everyone”. And if you don’t agree with anything I say, then maybe you can tell me, then maybe i’ll be learning something from you. :)

---
* i'm probably going to have a different blog addressing this specific topic... next time :)

i love kids' church :)

2010-03-07T22:46:00.000-08:00

We will not hide them from their children;
   we will tell the next generation
   the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD,
   his power, and the wonders he has done.
He decreed statutes for Jacob
   and established the law in Israel,
   which he commanded our forefathers
   to teach their children,
so the next generation would know them,
   even the children yet to be born,
   and they in turn would tell their children.
Then they would put their trust in God
   and would not forget his deeds
   but would keep his commands.

-- Psalm 78:4-7

now what?

2010-03-01T05:13:00.000-08:00

i've been reading exodus lately, the part where God gives specific instructions about how to build the altars and temples, and i was thinking, why can't He be as specific about my life? I mean, sometimes i just wish He could tell me exactly what to do, like audibly give me instructions or write it in the sky or something. Like the way He did with Moses, giving Him very specific instructions about what color to do, what materials to use, and so on.

But i realized that first of all, God is, in fact, very specific and detailed with our lives. He even knows the number of our hair (Mat. 10:30). God loves me, and i am important to Him that's why i know that He's got everything planned for me, every detail, every person i meet, and every experience i go through.

And as much as i would like to have a blueprint of my life and detailed instructions for everything i do, that's just not how God operates with lives. God doesn't want us to live our lives like a series of steps to accomplish. He doesn't just want us to have a to-do list to check off. He doesn't want us to just complete this task called life... He wants us to learn and grow to becoming better people. He wants to build our character. He wants us to enjoy each moment and treasure those experiences that are worth treasuring. And most importantly, God wants our relationship with Him to grow... He wants us to learn to trust Him and for us to grow in our faith.

So even when we can't see the blueprints of our lives, we can trust our Architect.

hwattaweekend!

2010-02-21T23:49:00.000-08:00

hello folks! I'm back! :D and I was sorta scared I wasn't coming back to Manila alive. haha.. ok, that wasn't very funny.. O_o it's just that all the deaths around me have made me more aware of the possibility of my own...

Anywho... the past Friday was the Kids ministry summit!!! and before this, i was blogging about how excited I was specially because I was eager to find out how God will continue to draw me more to Him.. and indeed he was there! it was just an awesome time of praising and worshipping God and catching the vision of what it means to be a kid's church teacher, because we are not just baby sitters, we are training the future leaders of this nation.. even the world!! :D what a privilege and an honor!

unfortunately. things had to be cut short for me. And I thank God for being with me even during those scary hours. I have never been so thankful for spiritual family until now. This will probably take up different blog...

For now, I just want to say that this was the best retreat I've ever been to...

I love you, Lord :)

It's been a while Caliraya..

2010-02-18T05:40:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow's gonna be the Kids' Ministry Summit at Caliraya, and I'm excited! :D

Lemme be honest.. i'm not really a fan of retreats or camps or stuff that involve a lot of people i don't know, a shared and unfamiliar bathroom, and overnights in a faraway land. I'm a very "homey" person and i don't do very well in crowds.

But I am excited nonetheless.

Bakit nga ba ako excited? Haha. Hindi ko alam.. basta excited ako. Excited ako kasi Kids' Church yun. Excited ako kasi madami akong matutunan for sure. Excited ako kasi may makakasama ako mga mahal kong friends. At higit sa lahat, excited ako na malaman kung papanong gagamitin ni Lord ang time na ito para mas maging close kami.. :D

Exciting, hindi ba? 8D

Live and love, then live forever.

2010-02-10T23:51:00.000-08:00

I came from a wake last night. the Lola of my highschool friend died. just last week, my mom's friend died.

death doesn't really scare me.. then again, I have yet to experience the death of someone really close to me. neither have I been in a super life or death situation... so I never really had reason to fear death. in fact, there were times before that I wish i'd just die, not too much... I wasn't suicidal. but it just seemed like death would be freedom... from all the worries, all the hardships, and all the trouble. I guess in my mind, life didn't have much to offer in return for my labouring on earth. and I didn't feel like I had anything to offer the world either... I was simply taking up space, oxygen, and expenses.

it sounds emo.. but it's just plain logic, actually.

and all this I felt, not before I became a Christian, but after. I was going to heaven anyway, why can't I go now na?

i never completely got the answer to that question. but I do know God still wants me here on earth... whether that be to touch lives and be touched by others, or to help others learn and to learn from others, or maybe to inspire and be inspired by others. Ultimately, I know I'm here to glorify God and as long as God decides to keep me here, that's exactly what I will keep on doing.

i'm still not afraid of dying, but i'm not as eager to die now either. Life here is short compared to eternity, and i want to make sure that i get to live this life to the fullest. i don't want to die with regrets that i didn't get to share to this world all that i can and want to share. So as long as God keeps me here, I pray I get to live without fear and love without reservations.

an excuse to buy expensive shoes

2010-02-02T02:05:00.000-08:00

My mom bought me this book, "How to Walk in High Heels". I didn't ask for it, naisipan lang niya bilin one day. Lagi ko naman kasi nababanggit na hindi ako marunong magsuot ng high heels, it's suicide for me. Wearing high heels for me = a slow and painful death.

I've only read a few parts, medyo funny siya actually. And it's not just about high heels, it's about being stylish everywhere with everything, even at home. I think another proper title to this book is "How to Become Very Vain".

I just find it really funny that my mom bought this for me.. so i guess now i can ask her to buy me really expensive shoes and use the book as justification. mwahahaha. >:D

Why are you downcast, O my soul?

2010-01-30T08:38:00.000-08:00

“Have you realized that most of your unhappiness in life is due to the fact that you are listening to yourself instead of talking to yourself? Take those thoughts that come to you the moment you wake up in the morning. You have not originated them, but they start talking to you, they bring back the problems of yesterday, etc.

Somebody is talking. Who is talking? Your self is talking to you. Now this man’s treatment was this; instead of allowing this self to talk to him, he starts talking to himself. ‘Why art thou cast down, O my soul?’ he asks. His soul had been depressing him, crushing him. So he stands up and says: ‘Self, listen for a moment, I will speak to you.’…

The main art in the matter of spiritual living is to know how to handle yourself. You have to take yourself in hand, you have to address yourself, preach to yourself, question yourself. You must say to your soul: ‘Why art thou cast down’– what business have you to be disquieted?

You must turn on yourself, upbraid yourself, condemn yourself, exhort yourself, and say to yourself: ‘Hope thou in God’– instead of muttering in this depressed, unhappy way. And then you must go on to remind yourself of God, Who God is, and what God is and what God has done, and what God has pledged Himself to do.

Then having done that, end on this great note: defy yourself, and defy other people, and defy the devil and the whole world, and say with this man: ‘I shall yet praise Him for the help of His countenance, who is also the health of my countenance and my God.’”

–D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones, Spiritual Depression: Its Causes and Its Cure(Grand Rapids: Eerdmans, 1965/2002), 20-1.

***

i first read this excerpt from John Piper's book: "When I Don't Desire God" and then from this blog Tolle Lege

nagbabalik blogger

2010-01-26T05:37:00.000-08:00

sorry naman. i know i said magwo-wordpress na ko, pero may mga features kasi ang blogger that makes it more convenient and customizable. here's why...

editable html: sa blogger, i can get a basic template then tweak the codes to make it more my own. i can add my own bg, change the font and border colors, and if i were an expert, i'm sure i can do more. with wordpress, all i can do is change the header at most... if i want to edit codes, i'm gonna have to pay.

following: with blogger, i can follow other blogs, whether blogspot yun or wordpress or whatever. i can add them to my blogroll and i'll get updates in my dashboard. with wordpress, i can do that but only with other wordpress users. parang tumblr, you can only follow other tumbeblogs, but here, i can follow any blog.

pages: this is one feature na dati wala sa blogger na meron ang wordpress.. pero ngayon, meron na din dito! so, happiness! and i can even edit codes and put javascript kaya nagawa ko yung "my tumblr" page ko. i tried that with wordpress, pero hindi pwede. you can't embed stuff there, but here, i can! wee!

arranging page elements: with blogger, i can easily arrange page elements. i can put stuff in my footer or sidebar or under my header. it's like the widgets in wordpress except that here, i can choose to put them anywhere i want.

so, there. just a few features that makes blogger more convenient and fun for me. i'm really sorry wordpress, my days with you were short-lived. although i have to admit, there's a certain look and feel that makes wordpress so alluring. parang ang ganda niya, ang classy at mas maganda naman pakinggan ang url na blahblahbla.wordpress.com kaysa blahblahblah.blogspot.com, pero i can't let go of the above mentioned features.